Religion and Me

I would to comment on what a friend wrote in one of my comment...

"I can feel the religion is really really get into u.

It's a good thing!"

Religion! Its such a complicated thing. Whats it to me? Its a journey that over the years,that have bought alot of ups and downs in my life.

Am I , a religious person? I personally feel that I have a long way to grow in this. Eventho' I have been a catholic for years almost my whole life. But its such a thing that when you look at the graph, you would see the up points and the low points.

I have had my despairs in life many times more than never. I have doubts that would not leave me till today. I haven't been able to cross the line where I totally have no doubts and my believe is as strong as the rocks that builds the foundation of the cliff.

Am I really into religion? Well religion gives a sense of groundedness when I need it. No matter how much i argue sometimes against certain things or I am angry with God for all the trials He puts my family thru and myself thru. I still go back to Him. Why? Why, indeed. Maybe deep down in my heart I know that there is a powerful force out there that controls everything, knows every step I take. I know that eventually when I knock hard enough, He will listen and make my life/ sufferrings a bit better.

I do not want to compare my life with the less fortunate here. As I truely know and I see this everyday of my life - how fortunate I am. Yet.... deep down inside I have my problems. My family has problems that God keeps putting in our path. We are not bad people. We follow religious teachings but of course not to the extent of being a fanatic. so you can't help but question why.

So I just want to say, I have no choice but to hang on to something that I pray and believe will help me get thru this cruel life on earth and build me a path to be with my creator.

I dont' know if I make sense. But what I am trying to say is that, I would not give up my religion for anything even love but I go thru periods where I hate having a religion too where I am govern to be nice when the world is so cruel to me....

I shed tears when I look and realize that it's better to be bad then good when being good will only make you end up last. Being nice is only being taken advantage of.

I am not perfect, and I wouldn't say that I have reached the spiritual level where I am just able to ignore what the world offers... But I am glad to say that I truely Strive to do good and my best.

I dont' know if things will change in the future.